I Love You

I’ve been thinking a lot about the words “I love you.” I grew up in conservative Christian evangelicalism and was highly influenced by the Purity movement. One of the things we were taught in youth group, besides don’t have sex or you’re a chewed up piece of gum or a used Kleenex, was guard your heart and save “I love you” for your future spouse.

Now I have teenagers of my own and I’ve tossed out the baby AND the bathwater of everything related to evangelicalism. The kiddos date, and they say “I love you” on each other’s Instagram posts and in person and all over the place. And I wonder, what’s so special about I love you? Why the mystery? Why the STINGINESS?

Shouldn’t I love you be scattered around like confetti? Like glitter!? So that it gets in your hair and in your carpet and you can never get rid of it? Why would we want to LIMIT our love?

One thing I’ve learned in growing older and going through some tough losses is this: life is short, tell people you love them. Love isn’t pie; it doesn’t diminish with each telling. Love is like a freshwater spring. The more you give, the more it just comes bubbling up.

Before I hang up the phone with my mom, my sister, my grandma, my kids, my best friends, I say, “I love you.” I tell people in my life every damn day how much I love them. And the more I tell people I love you, the more people I love!

So I say, screw guarding your heart and being stingy with I love you. Will giving and giving of yourself get you hurt? You bet it will. But risking it all for love? What could be more beautiful? I had nine foster babies in my years as a foster mom. The most common thing people said to me? “Oh I couldn’t do that, I’d get attached.” Well DUH. Of course you get attached! I loved each and every one of those babies and it broke my heart when each one left. But I am a stronger, kinder, more loving person for loving them. The cracks in my heart? They’re where the light and the love seep through.

So I encourage those teen romances. LOVE. Love boldly, my son. Love with everything you have and don’t stop.